Trained as a Psychologist and a family therapist and for the last 16 years dedicated to assisting companies to become significant and more successful, there is a concept I continue to run into all the time. It's the problem of blame. Who is the person or person(s) to blame? In therapy terms, who is the "identified patient?" As a therapist, families would come in with an "identified patient," normally an adolescent who"if they would just shape up" everything would be okay. The entire family could then get back to "normal" and life would be easier. I wish you could have seen the looks on their faces when, after listening for almost an hour, I would tell them I didn't think the "identified patient" was the problem, but the problem was the problem! The "identified patient" was only a symptom of something larger going on.

Here's what I mean;  we miss the mark when we think "they" are the problem. Our rationale is "if that person would just listen to us, take our advice, and do what we know they should do they (or our situation) would be "fixed" (a Texas term that means anything from healthy, to repaired, to attached, to prepared, or put in a condition or position). Interestingly enough when that identified person (or boss, student, employee)  is "fixed" another problem pops up and we begin to complain because it seems everything is worse. We even revert back to wishing for the old problem to come back because the new one is worse! (Reminds me of the billboard I saw driving back from Witchita Falls of George W. Bush's portrait with the words, "Miss Me Yet?").

Here's the truth:  For individuals or situations that seem to be the problem, they are generally nothing more than a symptom. To understand this better, consider the example of a mobile. When you move any one piece of the mobile, all other pieces move too. We don't exist in isolation from each other. Often times the problem the identified patient is carrying out is the very one we don't want to face or take responsibility for. Instead of facing our own contribution to the problem, we project it onto another (or do the opposite behavior, diffusion of responsibility, which is another blog topic). We benefit when we can focus on their behavior because in that way I don't have to focus on my contribution to the problem(s).

Need an example from the most recent financial world? How about the housing bubble burst leading to default mortgages, to the doom of Bear Stearns, the bankruptcy of Lehman's, etc. There was not one sufficient condition that lead to the recession we are experiencing today.  In other words, not one identified patient to blame.

Want to make a change in the world you live in? The world you work in? Your career? The company you lead? The family you live with? Want to make a change in the elected position you hold? Quit looking for an identified patient or someone to blame.  Look in the mirror and own up to your responsibility for what you have done or continue to do that exacerbates the situation! Make a decision for yourself to take responsibility for your part in the system and do something about it!

It's amazing what begins to happen when people take individual responsibility for what they do (or don't do) instead of seeking to blame someone or something else. It's called a solution.

I know you've seen this before, but this short 56 second video explains what I mean:

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