Taking It Personally and Making It Personal

(I got the idea for my blog from one of Seth Godin's recent blogs (seth@yahoo.com), "How Else Are You Supposed to Take It?") 

When someone says something to you that's hurtful or they don't buy what you're selling, how in the world does one not take it personally? Maybe I haven't matured (as if that would solve the problem) but when someone disappoints me, I find it truly hard to not take it personally. I mean come on, even in elementary school and then graduate school when I got my grades or papers back there would often be a note on "my paper," "Ron, good ideas but you need more depth" (they didn't know I was drowning when I wrote it). Was that not personal? I mean it was my paper and that's my name.

So how does one not take things personally? A few thoughts;

  1. It's about being grounded. I wish I could navigate the praise as well as criticisms of others. It's tough to deal with people you care about, and they simply don't respond in kind. Maybe part of the answer is  knowing who you are and who you're not? As much as I have always tried to be a pleaser, there are some people I will never please.
  2. Maybe it's allowing others the freedom to be who they are and adjusting my expectations accordingly? I can change my truck's oil but I can't change others. I can choose to change me, but I don't have the power to change others.
  3. And finally when others walk away or "decide to take their ball and go home," I have to remind myself it's their ball not mine. It's his or her agenda that is most important to them and that's tough to accept. But that's who they are. They have their lives to live and their world to live in, and they don't have to live in the world according to me.

However, when it comes to me personally I will take living with others and leading others intensely personal. When it comes to people I will always try to use my heart. When it comes to issues, I will try to lead with my head.

Just my thoughts. I would be interested in yours.

rb

Great 90 second seat belt video...enjoy and buckle up.

 

Posted on Tue, May 31, 2011 by Ron Beasley filed under

1 comment (Add your own)

1. Your Nephew wrote:
A month or two ago, I lost a big deal...I had worked my tail off on it. We knew it was in the basket. I had all the decision makers aligned, all off their staff aligned, engineering reports done, expectations set, goals set, full understanding of cost and ROI......

and he wouldn't sign it. So, finally...I get in front of the decision maker again, and he says," If I wasn't with this company, you would have never called on me. You only call on me, because we are a cash cow and because of our name." I then asked how he came to this conclusion?........"I made it up over time."

Slap me in my face.....he made this grown man cry. I have not been able to let that moment in time go. It crushed me. It knocked every ounce of wind out of my sail. I came to a grinding halt on a sand bar, with my bass boat. I crushed me.

I need to get over it, and move on. He wants to play in another sand box, which is fine...but the kick in the nuts, will forever haunt me. I am still looking for the ,"why?"

Thu, June 30, 2011 @ 8:05 AM

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Taking It Personally and Making It Personal